The Goth Guide 11: General FAQ

Goth Slang Word of the Day

• The Goth Father: An alternative name for Andrew Eldritch, the lead singer of the Sisters of Mercy.

Goth Band of the Day

• Depeche Mode [formed in 1980, British]

 Everyone at some point or another has been asked a small series of questions, both good and bad, pertaining to how they act, who they are, and what they look like.  This article is going to consist of questions that I've been asked that were both in sincerity and ridicule pertaining to my scene of choice.  This will help you get an idea of what the mundanes of society will be thinking depending on the person, and will more than likely ask you throughout your life as a goth.  I will provide the question and my personal answer, as well as a more polite way to handle the question.

Here is a list of the nicer questions I've gotten from people.

"Oh, dear.  You look entirely too pale.  Wouldn't you like to get a tan?"

Your elders or parents' friends will ask you this at some point, or bring up the fact that you look just so much paler than the normal teenager or age-group you're with.  I have a bit of an excuse because of my irish heritage, so I'm naturally pale anyway.  I also tend to shy away from the sun, and always keep my skin from being in the sunlight for more than ten minutes, otherwise, I will start to burn.  Just tell the person that asks that you are comfortable with your skintone.  It's the best you can do.

"Are you sure you want your hair/make-up/nails looking like that while you go out?  No one else dresses like you..."

That's good.  It means I'm being whoever I want to be without the pressures of the others in my age-group.  People that are close to you will worry about whether or not you will be picked on or bullied for how you have yourself looking.  The 80's teased hairdo isn't seen much, and your parents and grandparents will be wondering why you have black hair extensions and drawn-on eyebrows.  This is another "I'm comfortable with it" answer.  As long as you truly are comfortable with it, then they should be satisfied with your answer.

"Hey, how did you get your hair/make-up/nails to look like that?"

What we do to make ourselves look the way we do is no secret, and people will get curious.  However, if you have something you don't wish to share about your beauty tips, then that's fine.  Just tell them "With a lot of patience" and leave it at that.

"Where did you get that [article of clothing]?  I haven't seen it in any store!"

This question will more than likely be directed to the piece of clothing that you had made via from scratch or out of some old clothes you had.  It could also be towards the ones you bought online that mundane people don't generally go to.  Have fun telling them that you made it or where you got it.

You will get both good questions and bad questions. This is the list of the not-so-nice questions and comments.

"Are you emo or something?"

The most frequently asked question and probably one of the most annoying I've ever been asked. I don't care if people are being nice and sincere about the question, I still take offense to it, though depending on the tone the question was asked depends on how nice I am about answering that. A simple "No...!" will work, though sometimes I will go into detail as to why emo and goth is not the same thing.

"Do you think you are a vampire?"

Do YOU think you are a cast member from Jersey Shore because of your clothing? I think not. Well, I hope not anyway. Yes, people will often assume you are a vampire obsesser. Explain to them that vampires don't exist, and quietly walk away nicely.

"Did you know that all those cults and highschool shootings were started by goth?"

No. Once again, this is something the media cooked up to explain the childrens' actions. The kids may have said they were goth, but I know for a fact that the Goth scene does not cause people to want to kill. It's an awful and ruthless thing to do, and I know plenty of goths who would agree with me on such an issue. As for the cults, there IS such a thing as "Underground" and "Occultic."

"Why are you so pale? Do you not like to tan at all?"

These are the questions asked about how freaky my skin looks, compared to a concerned parent or grandparent. These are the people that love to tan, and love telling other people they need to tan. When asked crudely, I have fun telling people that if I tan, I would be signing off my deathwish for skin cancer, which, in a sense, I would be. Excessive tanning is not healthy for the skin. I personally like my porcelain colored smooth victorian era skin, apposed to the leather handbag look.

"Are you crazy or something?"

When I was asked this, I simply stared at the person, eyes voilent and lips furled into a distorted grin. I let them have their own assumptions. Goths are far from crazy, generally creative and clever individuals. Some might be a little crazy, but that's on the person and not the scene itself.

"Don't you worship Satan/the Devil? Aren't you a witch/warlock?"

I've been asked this quite a lot, actually. Goth is a subculture, and carries not its own defined religious preference. I know Christian goths, Atheist goths, Agnostics, Wiccans, etc. Goth does not make you a worshipper of the Devil or a witch.

You will also get a lot of "Should I?" and "Do I?" questions.  Some examples of what I've been asked in the past are:

"Do you like my shirt?  Is it goth enough?"

"Do you like my jewelry?"

"Should I have done my hair like this today?"

Most of these questions will be from the younger of your age.  Kids, slowly becoming baby bats, and seeking guidance from you.  I say, if they are willing to learn, then I am willing to teach.  If they are sincere in their questions, be sensitive to their feelings.  If they are wearing something that isn't so gothic as they think it to be, let them know in a nice way.  Don't just tell them off.

Part 2 can be found here!

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